July 28th Experience (Kassidy’s Version)

[kassidy.exe]

Hello again. I am just making my own topic to not flood others, and because others have encouraged me to do so. I wrote a lot more earlier today, but got progressively more skittish to share as the day went on leading up to now. So here is a more deep dive info dump on my experience. I apologize in advance for grammar and spelling errors.

Written last night right after the experience:
Me and clara park and go across the street when it’s our time, and I expected a black Cadillac van to pick us up like before, but instead, it was this silver sedan with no plates. No man in suit this time- this time it was Dan and he was wearing a sweaty t-shirt. He asked is if we knew who he was. We said no, (forgive me I’m bad with faces) and then he asked if it was us and we said yes. He said to get in. We got in and he gave us bags to put over our heads. We did so and off we went. We figured out it was dan and were like “Oh my gosh it’s so nice to meet you! We’ve heard so much about you!” and he said “you too, wish it was under better circumstances”. So then he got us out of the car, led us to a door with a hand on our necks, and told us to not look around. The bags came off and we were directly in front of this metal door. He told us to listen to the rules, it’s dangerous, and said sorry we had to go through this. We were brought inside to this empty dark warehouse that was in a demo stage. I looked around and saw a cameraman and a guy in a ski mask. I got chills seeing the ski mask, who I later found out was opulens himself. clara got distracted by a lit up table with animal skulls and went right for that. I was walking over and noticed the ski mask guy walking towards us. I was in the middle of telling Clara “we got a friend following us-“ and then i got YOINKED by him grabbing me from behind and putting a hand over my mouth. He dragged me over to the wall and told me to keep my head against the wall and to shut the fuck up.
So i stood there while clara was signing something at the table. Camera man comes to me and turns me around (cottage cheese milk man) and snaps a polaroid of me. i asked if i could move now when he walked away and opulens yelled “SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FACE THE WALL” so i did. Any attempt to be light hearted here went out the window real fast- He came over and asked me why i was here. I stuttered so bad he walked away after a frustrated sigh. Then he came back to me and asked what Clara could be thinking rn. I said “I don’t know” and he said “take a guess, idiot.” And i ended up saying “probably she has no idea what the fuck is happening” and he seemed satisfied with that answer. Clara finished up signing and was shoved towards the stairs. opulens came back to me and pulled me off the wall to pull me over to the table. He said to read the signs carefully and sign. Signs said to not talk about the experience to players until 6 PM tomorrow, “think about why you are here” etc etc and write it down on this piece of paper to carry with me. The paper was this parchment paper and i signed with this weird stake thing. Then signed the waiver.

opulens returned, wrapped a arm around my shoulder and said “lets walk and talk, have a little chat, over here by this rocks, i like rocks” and brought me over to the wall once again. He got up on the wall next to me and got in my ear, asking why i think they do what they do. I asked why, and he said “to experience” and i said “experience what?” And he replied something along the lines of “living on the edge.” And walked away. He then returned after a couple of minutes and I backed into a corner. He asked me why I looked so uncomfortable, and i just said “i just havent ever experienced anything like this before” and he said “yeah I bet you havent experienced anything like this before. Welcome to the edge.” And put me back facing the wall. Then told me to stay against the wall like a good girl or he will be very angry at me, i said I understood and he was happy with that. He came back over once again and told me to listen to the screams, and I thought Clara was fr screaming and that freaked me out because this was her first time doing this and I was worried about how she would react.

So then Clara came back downstairs and was put against the wall, and I was shoved towards the stairs this time. I went and there was a camera set up and it was extremely foggy. There was a doorway up ahead that was glowing pink. I followed it, and looked around and noticed others hiding behind walls in masks and cameras, watching me. I walked into the room, and noticed one of them following me. In the middle of the foggy pink room was a pentagram made of salt or something, and he told me to get in the middle and face a direction. I did, and in front of me was another symbol in salt, a candle, and three buckets with one of them having a oil lantern in front of it. Then from around a pillar came this woman with a mask made up of twigs and vines, and a fur coat that looked like a bear I think. He stared at me for a moment, tilting her head, and asked why i was here. I told her to experience. She said “what do you expect to experience here?” I replied “what you have to offer” she said “what do you think we have to offer?” And I said “you tell me.” She started walking around me in a circle around the pentagram. She said more than i cant remember atm but she also asked what my paper said. I read to her that it said “to experience, feeling alive.” And asked if that is something I should keep guarded. I said I suppose. She mentioned how I chose to be here, yet I seemed uncomfortable. I just told her i havent ever experienced anything like this before. She went on to ask how i felt that the air has some of my essence. I was kinda confused by that and she remarked how I didnt sound very confident. I replied that i try to be, even if my voice is a little shaky. She grabbed me from behind and yelled “YOU CHOSE THIS. YOU CHOSE TO BE HERE” etc etc. she let me go and said I had three choices to make after I handed her my paper. She said I could pick to send the message to myself, to someone I know, or to the universe. I sent it to the universe. She dropped my paper in the bucket, and said “you know how this works. You know how this fucking works!” And i got backed into a guy behind me who grabbed me and led me back to the door, who then said to go the way I came. I went downstairs and opie was waiting for me, gesturing me to the door where clara was waiting. He followed as Dan opened the door and gave us bags, and opulens said its been a pleasure having us. I started saying how it was a pleasure, and i took a step to go out where he grabbed me from behind and grabbed my hair, getting up in it to whisper “I will be seeing you very soon, Kassidy~” and laughed. We got bagged once again, and driven back, where we were dropped off in the same lot.

Written the morning after:
Side note: this is more about why I gave the answer I gave and less about the experience itself, so if you are not interested in that you can skip this.

I kept repeating last night how this was something I never experienced before, for more reasons than just some of the obvious ones. In these environments, I struggle with giving answers, let alone asking questions. I stuttered so bad through my first question opulens walked away from me lol- but even then, I still didn’t expect to react the way I did.

My answer about why I was here, what I was thinking right now, what was important to me, seems vague and very simple: “to experience, feeling alive”. Now, I made a post early on in the forum talking about why I was here, similarly to others when it was brought up, but I would like to go on a much deeper dive about it now. Since, as opulens revealed, they do what they do to live on the edge, and that couldn’t be more true about why I was there.

Obviously, I want to experience everything they have. Despite how shaky my voice was and how nervous I was, I don’t want my display of fear to hold me back or to have certain experiences/moments pulled back for me. Of course I couldn’t properly communicate that, and my absence online may also indicate the opposite. I will try to fix that, but I often don’t engage unless it is time to. Doing things like this, and going to regular haunts, I eat up fear and it makes me feel more alive to feel it. Last year, however, during haunt season, I found myself in a situation at a haunt where I felt like I was dying, and not in the fun way-Trusted the wrong person, and they took advantage of my vulnerability. Long story short and keeping out the not fun details, last night triggered an entirely new feeling of fear in me because of that experience. For a moment, I questioned if opulens was THAT person, for reasons I cannot describe here for confidentiality. It wasn’t, of course, but I was genuinely very freaked out and triggered. That is the kind of personal fear that they couldn’t have curated more perfectly by accident. That didn’t stop me, I didn’t say my safe word. I kept going, and that is truly what I meant behind my answer, why I chose to be there. To feel alive again after going through something that made me feel the opposite.

I am in a much better place mentally, so please do not worry for me. But I am grateful for getting the opportunity, and I can’t wait to hopefully experience more. I don’t seek truth, I don’t seek answers. All I seek is to continue living life on the edge.

Sorry if this is a little bit more sensitive, mayhaps more so than the forum allows, and kinda more personal. But like the choice I made last night, I wanted to send this out into the universe. I felt that it would be an injustice to myself and the universe if I didn’t explain myself properly, especially when I couldn’t get the words out before. Who knew how much a small snippet of what Exiled has to offer impacted me.

Really, the only question I have on my mind now is why opulens and some of the others want to live on the edge, too

[campbellstruts]

Hello again. I am just making my own topic to not flood others, and because others have encouraged me to do so. I wrote a lot more earlier today, but got progressively more skittish to share as the day went on leading up to now. So here is a more deep dive info dump on my experience. I apologize in advance for grammar and spelling errors.

Written last night right after the experience:
Me and clara park and go across the street when it’s our time, and I expected a black Cadillac van to pick us up like before, but instead, it was this silver sedan with no plates. No man in suit this time- this time it was Dan and he was wearing a sweaty t-shirt. He asked is if we knew who he was. We said no, (forgive me I’m bad with faces) and then he asked if it was us and we said yes. He said to get in. We got in and he gave us bags to put over our heads. We did so and off we went. We figured out it was dan and were like “Oh my gosh it’s so nice to meet you! We’ve heard so much about you!” and he said “you too, wish it was under better circumstances”. So then he got us out of the car, led us to a door with a hand on our necks, and told us to not look around. The bags came off and we were directly in front of this metal door. He told us to listen to the rules, it’s dangerous, and said sorry we had to go through this. We were brought inside to this empty dark warehouse that was in a demo stage. I looked around and saw a cameraman and a guy in a ski mask. I got chills seeing the ski mask, who I later found out was opulens himself. clara got distracted by a lit up table with animal skulls and went right for that. I was walking over and noticed the ski mask guy walking towards us. I was in the middle of telling Clara “we got a friend following us-“ and then i got YOINKED by him grabbing me from behind and putting a hand over my mouth. He dragged me over to the wall and told me to keep my head against the wall and to shut the fuck up.
So i stood there while clara was signing something at the table. Camera man comes to me and turns me around (cottage cheese milk man) and snaps a polaroid of me. i asked if i could move now when he walked away and opulens yelled “SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FACE THE WALL” so i did. Any attempt to be light hearted here went out the window real fast- He came over and asked me why i was here. I stuttered so bad he walked away after a frustrated sigh. Then he came back to me and asked what Clara could be thinking rn. I said “I don’t know” and he said “take a guess, idiot.” And i ended up saying “probably she has no idea what the fuck is happening” and he seemed satisfied with that answer. Clara finished up signing and was shoved towards the stairs. opulens came back to me and pulled me off the wall to pull me over to the table. He said to read the signs carefully and sign. Signs said to not talk about the experience to players until 6 PM tomorrow, “think about why you are here” etc etc and write it down on this piece of paper to carry with me. The paper was this parchment paper and i signed with this weird stake thing. Then signed the waiver.

opulens returned, wrapped a arm around my shoulder and said “lets walk and talk, have a little chat, over here by this rocks, i like rocks” and brought me over to the wall once again. He got up on the wall next to me and got in my ear, asking why i think they do what they do. I asked why, and he said “to experience” and i said “experience what?” And he replied something along the lines of “living on the edge.” And walked away. He then returned after a couple of minutes and I backed into a corner. He asked me why I looked so uncomfortable, and i just said “i just havent ever experienced anything like this before” and he said “yeah I bet you havent experienced anything like this before. Welcome to the edge.” And put me back facing the wall. Then told me to stay against the wall like a good girl or he will be very angry at me, i said I understood and he was happy with that. He came back over once again and told me to listen to the screams, and I thought Clara was fr screaming and that freaked me out because this was her first time doing this and I was worried about how she would react.

So then Clara came back downstairs and was put against the wall, and I was shoved towards the stairs this time. I went and there was a camera set up and it was extremely foggy. There was a doorway up ahead that was glowing pink. I followed it, and looked around and noticed others hiding behind walls in masks and cameras, watching me. I walked into the room, and noticed one of them following me. In the middle of the foggy pink room was a pentagram made of salt or something, and he told me to get in the middle and face a direction. I did, and in front of me was another symbol in salt, a candle, and three buckets with one of them having a oil lantern in front of it. Then from around a pillar came this woman with a mask made up of twigs and vines, and a fur coat that looked like a bear I think. He stared at me for a moment, tilting her head, and asked why i was here. I told her to experience. She said “what do you expect to experience here?” I replied “what you have to offer” she said “what do you think we have to offer?” And I said “you tell me.” She started walking around me in a circle around the pentagram. She said more than i cant remember atm but she also asked what my paper said. I read to her that it said “to experience, feeling alive.” And asked if that is something I should keep guarded. I said I suppose. She mentioned how I chose to be here, yet I seemed uncomfortable. I just told her i havent ever experienced anything like this before. She went on to ask how i felt that the air has some of my essence. I was kinda confused by that and she remarked how I didnt sound very confident. I replied that i try to be, even if my voice is a little shaky. She grabbed me from behind and yelled “YOU CHOSE THIS. YOU CHOSE TO BE HERE” etc etc. she let me go and said I had three choices to make after I handed her my paper. She said I could pick to send the message to myself, to someone I know, or to the universe. I sent it to the universe. She dropped my paper in the bucket, and said “you know how this works. You know how this fucking works!” And i got backed into a guy behind me who grabbed me and led me back to the door, who then said to go the way I came. I went downstairs and opie was waiting for me, gesturing me to the door where clara was waiting. He followed as Dan opened the door and gave us bags, and opulens said its been a pleasure having us. I started saying how it was a pleasure, and i took a step to go out where he grabbed me from behind and grabbed my hair, getting up in it to whisper “I will be seeing you very soon, Kassidy~” and laughed. We got bagged once again, and driven back, where we were dropped off in the same lot.

Written the morning after:
Side note: this is more about why I gave the answer I gave and less about the experience itself, so if you are not interested in that you can skip this.

I kept repeating last night how this was something I never experienced before, for more reasons than just some of the obvious ones. In these environments, I struggle with giving answers, let alone asking questions. I stuttered so bad through my first question opulens walked away from me lol- but even then, I still didn’t expect to react the way I did.

My answer about why I was here, what I was thinking right now, what was important to me, seems vague and very simple: “to experience, feeling alive”. Now, I made a post early on in the forum talking about why I was here, similarly to others when it was brought up, but I would like to go on a much deeper dive about it now. Since, as opulens revealed, they do what they do to live on the edge, and that couldn’t be more true about why I was there.

Obviously, I want to experience everything they have. Despite how shaky my voice was and how nervous I was, I don’t want my display of fear to hold me back or to have certain experiences/moments pulled back for me. Of course I couldn’t properly communicate that, and my absence online may also indicate the opposite. I will try to fix that, but I often don’t engage unless it is time to. Doing things like this, and going to regular haunts, I eat up fear and it makes me feel more alive to feel it. Last year, however, during haunt season, I found myself in a situation at a haunt where I felt like I was dying, and not in the fun way-Trusted the wrong person, and they took advantage of my vulnerability. Long story short and keeping out the not fun details, last night triggered an entirely new feeling of fear in me because of that experience. For a moment, I questioned if opulens was THAT person, for reasons I cannot describe here for confidentiality. It wasn’t, of course, but I was genuinely very freaked out and triggered. That is the kind of personal fear that they couldn’t have curated more perfectly by accident. That didn’t stop me, I didn’t say my safe word. I kept going, and that is truly what I meant behind my answer, why I chose to be there. To feel alive again after going through something that made me feel the opposite.

I am in a much better place mentally, so please do not worry for me. But I am grateful for getting the opportunity, and I can’t wait to hopefully experience more. I don’t seek truth, I don’t seek answers. All I seek is to continue living life on the edge.

Sorry if this is a little bit more sensitive, mayhaps more so than the forum allows, and kinda more personal. But like the choice I made last night, I wanted to send this out into the universe. I felt that it would be an injustice to myself and the universe if I didn’t explain myself properly, especially when I couldn’t get the words out before. Who knew how much a small snippet of what Exiled has to offer impacted me.

Really, the only question I have on my mind now is why opulens and some of the others want to live on the edge, too

The fact that you keep showing up and you keep putting yourself out there is so impressive, Kassidy. I've been impressed with you since karaoke. since the competition. since everything. I can't wait to see more of you and I can guarantee that same thing for everyone else - we want to see more of you and your badass self. ;)

[haleywilde]

Thank you for sharing! This experience is meant for us to get deep and to feel things, so being vulnerable is often rewarded. There is no need to pretend to be someone that you're not because the more authentically you give yourself, the more you'll receive in return.

I have no authority in this obviously, but if I did I would reward you for your bravery. Much love!

[opulens]

Kassidy, it is a beautiful thing to see you step further out of your comfort zone.

The edge is merely the last point you reached.

There is always another edge.

Blessings.

[haleywilde]

He got up on the wall next to me and got in my ear, asking why i think they do what they do. I asked why, and he said “to experience” and i said “experience what?” And he replied something along the lines of “living on the edge.” And walked away. He then returned after a couple of minutes and I backed into a corner. He asked me why I looked so uncomfortable, and i just said “i just havent ever experienced anything like this before” and he said “yeah I bet you havent experienced anything like this before. Welcome to the edge.”

It's interesting seeing "the edge" being used in this context now. I had always interpreted opulens being "just someone on the edge" as more of an observer role. Someone who didn't quite fit in so he instead lived his life on the fringe of everything. But maybe I was projecting.

It seems as though opie has a different meaning for living life on the edge, and it's a much more dangerous one than I thought.

[blondie]

Thank you for being vulnerable with us Kassidy. Sometimes that’s the scariest part of all of this. Being forced to look inwards and face the parts of ourselves that we try to hide or ignore. But I have faith that we will all come out of this knowing ourselves better than we did before.

Lovely bit of shadow work

[kassidy.exe]

Reading all of your replies, you guys are extremely sweet, thank you.

I also think “the edge” used in this context is interesting. Makes it more literal than just metaphorical. Especially with opulens comment, which I gagged seeing the notification in response to my thread LOL

You would think all my time on stage for karaoke and all my past haunt experience would make this a cake walk. Funny how skittish and uncomfortable this experience has ended up making me feel. It’s gone deeper than I ever thought, but I love walking on edges. It offers the best sights.

[Candleking]

Thanks for being vulnerable and doing as well as you could in the moment! I am proud of you!

[Phantomess16]

I, in fact, did not scream, I shouted once in response to a question. But other than that, excellent time with my bestie, 10/10 would subject myself to again.

cultcultcultcultcult