Just received a pretty dark and deep call from Darren. He didn't introduce himself, but he didn't have to. He sounded, almost.. sad.
It popped up as No Caller ID, so I answered it. I said hello a couple of times, but there was just silence.
He asked, "is there someone in your life right now that you love?"
"Yes."
more silence.
"Do you think that if the person you love saw the deepest, darkest parts of you. Who you really are, deep down. The darkest parts of yourself that you don't show, don't post on Instagram... do you think they would still love you?"
I pause. "I like to think so."
I feel concerned for him. It was an odd call..
Darren, I hope you're doing okay out there.
Call from Darren | 08.16.24
- haleywilde
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merely someone at the edge.
- haleywilde
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Now I'm just stuck thinking about what he asked. I answered honestly... I do think there is a couple of people in my life who I love and have seen me at some of my darkest moments.
But in the spirit of vulnerability, it is one of my deepest fears. To be really seen, and not be loved. To be abandoned. That fear is always there... it doesn't really ever go away, does it?
But in the spirit of vulnerability, it is one of my deepest fears. To be really seen, and not be loved. To be abandoned. That fear is always there... it doesn't really ever go away, does it?
merely someone at the edge.
- Caboose04
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haleywilde wrote: ↑Fri Aug 16, 2024 10:37 pm Now I'm just stuck thinking about what he asked. I answered honestly... I do think there is a couple of people in my life who I love and have seen me at some of my darkest moments.
But in the spirit of vulnerability, it is one of my deepest fears. To be really seen, and not be loved. To be abandoned. That fear is always there... it doesn't really ever go away, does it?
You are definitely seen and seem loved by the community here! And I don't think they are going anywhere! So you will have everyone here!
- haleywilde
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That is very kind. I cherish the friendships made here more than anything.Caboose04 wrote: ↑Fri Aug 16, 2024 10:41 pmhaleywilde wrote: ↑Fri Aug 16, 2024 10:37 pm Now I'm just stuck thinking about what he asked. I answered honestly... I do think there is a couple of people in my life who I love and have seen me at some of my darkest moments.
But in the spirit of vulnerability, it is one of my deepest fears. To be really seen, and not be loved. To be abandoned. That fear is always there... it doesn't really ever go away, does it?
You are definitely seen and seem loved by the community here! And I don't think they are going anywhere! So you will have everyone here!
However, you all haven't seen me at my darkest..... yet, at least. Maybe that's coming. Who knows.
merely someone at the edge.
- haleywilde
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I do wonder if this call has anything to do with what I said in my post.
Does he feel guilty? Is he in over his head and is making decisions that he isn't proud of?But as I was skimming, Darren told me to just sign it, and I agreed. In my defense, Darren, I trust you and I always have. Signing something you've given me in the past has never done me wrong before, so I trusted that you wouldn't hand me something that would harm me. I also consider Morgan to be my friend, and he was there as well. If you guys wanted me to sign something, I would sign it. You know that...
merely someone at the edge.
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Honestly, almost no one survives people seeing them at their darkest. Most people fall away much sooner than that.
I am also worried for Darren. That question is from someone who is very, very in over his head.
I am also worried for Darren. That question is from someone who is very, very in over his head.
We Are Such Stuff As Dreams Are Made On...
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In my very limited interactions with Darren , I think to myself why does he do what he does? Is it simply to please an audience? Is he really a people pleaser? Or is he just a glutton for punishment taking on these insane projects.
Did it really seem like a good idea to hook up with Exiled or did he know it would be a terrible idea and he was drawn to it like a rat to peanut butter. And now he's way more in over than he ever expected (or hoped for).
And why is Darren now using Attic Acquisitions to shed himself of his life's rewards and trophies? Does that further suggest that he know that he might not survive this?
My father who is in his 80s collected trains, guns and ham radios. A few years ago he liquidated everything. He knew he was living his last chapter. He didn't want anybody in the family tossing it all in the trash or selling it for nothing or not appreciating their worth.
Is that why Darren called Haley? Did he suddenly have a clear moment and start thinking about his family but is so deeply troubled that he couldn't reach out to them? So he reached out to his haunt family. Us. Maybe we need to save him whether it be from elites or redcurves or aliens or himself.
Did it really seem like a good idea to hook up with Exiled or did he know it would be a terrible idea and he was drawn to it like a rat to peanut butter. And now he's way more in over than he ever expected (or hoped for).
And why is Darren now using Attic Acquisitions to shed himself of his life's rewards and trophies? Does that further suggest that he know that he might not survive this?
My father who is in his 80s collected trains, guns and ham radios. A few years ago he liquidated everything. He knew he was living his last chapter. He didn't want anybody in the family tossing it all in the trash or selling it for nothing or not appreciating their worth.
Is that why Darren called Haley? Did he suddenly have a clear moment and start thinking about his family but is so deeply troubled that he couldn't reach out to them? So he reached out to his haunt family. Us. Maybe we need to save him whether it be from elites or redcurves or aliens or himself.
- haleywilde
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You may be more right than you know, Tim. There have been moments over the years where I have wondered exactly what you do--why does Darren do this?
Why does he continually delve into such dark stories? Why does he get? What drives him? Why does he seem so obsessed?
And why does this time feel different? For years, I have both admired Darren and wondered ... What if he ever tapped into the wrong energy, the wrong group, the wrong story?
I believe stories have power and can have very sharp teeth. Maybe this time they have truly bitten Darren. If you are bleeding, Darren, you know what you can do. Don't end up bled for someone else's fun.
Why does he continually delve into such dark stories? Why does he get? What drives him? Why does he seem so obsessed?
And why does this time feel different? For years, I have both admired Darren and wondered ... What if he ever tapped into the wrong energy, the wrong group, the wrong story?
I believe stories have power and can have very sharp teeth. Maybe this time they have truly bitten Darren. If you are bleeding, Darren, you know what you can do. Don't end up bled for someone else's fun.
We Are Such Stuff As Dreams Are Made On...
- haleywilde
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Well hi there! Welcome back— haven’t heard from you in a while. Sad I didn’t get to meet you in KC. Hope you got your friendship bracelet though!
P.S. it’s opie, not Opie
merely someone at the edge.
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I guess they're all at least paying attention.
- Dymuntz
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He is whatever I call him, and I saw you plenty while you were here ;)haleywilde wrote: ↑Sat Aug 17, 2024 1:14 am
Well hi there! Welcome back— haven’t heard from you in a while. Sad I didn’t get to meet you in KC. Hope you got your friendship bracelet though!
P.S. it’s opie, not Opie
Hope you enjoyed the amenities! Your bed was very comfortable and I’m told your jacuzzi was easy to clean.
And yes, I loved your gift. You chose colors almost as pretty as you.
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... Haley, I think your room was hand-me-down. Secondhand. Whatever you want to call it.
I mean, Dymuntz,...are you saying you used it first? If not, thank God. If so why would you admit that? Power move? Gross-out move? Just....ew.
We Are Such Stuff As Dreams Are Made On...
- haleywilde
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Had a feeling that you were the culprit of that mirror message.
I loved all the gifts- thank you! Especially the hat and socks.. you seem to have done your research.
Did I see you as well, or were you just watching from the shadows?
merely someone at the edge.
- haleywilde
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It just hit me that Madison was applying red lipstick in front of me in the car. Coincidence or confirmation that it was you I spent the day with? If so, you definitely have earned the friend title.haleywilde wrote: ↑Sat Aug 17, 2024 1:27 amHad a feeling that you were the culprit of that mirror message.
I loved all the gifts- thank you! Especially the hat and socks.. you seem to have done your research.
Did I see you as well, or were you just watching from the shadows?
merely someone at the edge.