(9/5) Call from Dorothea about Hesta

[kevin]

I’m sitting outside in the late afternoon California heat, waiting for my dog to dry off after her bath so I can brush here. I go to check what ToCarp wrote about Molly, and as I do, a No Caller ID call comes through.

It’s my new buddy, Dorothea.

After we greet each other, he asks if I’m still moderating the forums, and say that I am. Dorothea tells me he needs me to do something for him then.

He asks if I’ve seen that his daughter Hesta has a profile on social media. He insists that I need to get it taken down.

(It’s at this post I realize that Dorothea doesn’t understand the difference between the forums and Instagram. I’m also about to realize that he thinks all of those things are the same thing as a mobile phone?)

I start to say that I don’t really have power there and that I’ll try to get it down. Before I can get most of that out, Dorothea indicates that he didn’t ask me to try, I just need to do it.

He wraps up by saying that I need to get “that cotton candy eating hussy” off of the mobile phone. Then he hangs up.

I reached out to Hesta on Instagram to strike up a conversation there. I intended to explain more, but because she doesn’t follow me, I got just one message.

I don’t know how I became the go between for Dorothea and his own kid, but here we are.

[Lexthewolf]

No. She doesn’t need it taken down. She can make her own choices.

[campbellstruts]

Could be a rebellious teenager thing? Dunno their relationship with each other…good or bad terms etc

[ToCarp]

Oh damn... what can you do??

[ToCarp]

No. She doesn’t need it taken down. She can make her own choices.

THIS!!!

[Lexthewolf]

She deserves to be independent. She deserves to make her own choices. I can be a medium if needed

[Lexthewolf]

I had parents growing up who took my phone away as a punishment for things that.. i shouldnt have been punished for. This hits home for me.

I know what it’s like to have strict / overbearing / religious parents. I empathize with Hesta hard. So seeing her father ask the community to get her IG account down… it pulls a cord.

[someguyinKC]

Did he say why? Is he afraid she may expose things? Or just generally get into trouble on the big bad interwebs?

[kevin]

Really just seems like he doesn’t approve of social media, or the internet, or mobile phones? He definitely doesn’t feel the need to explain himself to me.

Or he wanted a reason to chat with me.

[kassidy.exe]

Not cotton candy eatin hussy
Also, missed opportunity to ask if he is a swiftie and likes the song with his name-

[lazysmartperson]

Dorothea is surprisingly well informed of internet happenings, I doubt he's scrolling TikTok himself so I wonder who's the Redcurved approved tech person.

[cd3vane]

Dorothea is surprisingly well informed of internet happenings, I doubt he's scrolling TikTok himself so I wonder who's the Redcurved approved tech person.

Maybe some of the elites tell him they were letting them bower devices at some point

[KAYLYN]

Maybe she is easily influenced. She's gotten a little to soft and he is afraid of her making the wrong choices. She has been the one going out more to places and wanting to be seen and got in this world outside of hers. Second thoughts?

[UnseenPresence]

I hate to be the one to say this:

If he is really her parent, or at least her guardian...

... He has the right to do exactly what he did.

There are LOTS of families and groups who do not allow their children to do all sorts of things. Sometimes out of religious beliefs, sometimes from philosophical, sometimes from the simple belief that social media rots your brain and is a colossal waste of time.

If he wants her off it, then he as the parent is supposed to be making those kinds of decisions. And frankly, given how terrible a lot of social media is (X, anyone?) I am not sure I even disagree with him.

But assuming he is the parent, he has the right to want his child off social media.

He's wrong about how it might be done, but his ignorance of the particulars doesn't alter his right as a parent.

Dorothea, whoever reads this to you or gets these messages to you--I support your desire as a parent.

I think it would be more beneficial and more likely to succeed if you spoke to HER directly. Tell her your reasons and find a solution together. Asking Kevin to do it won't get what you want. And taking her phone away will only make her do worse.

But your job is to rear you children in their culture and not everyone finds all this tech beneficial. So I support you, not that you need my vote of confidence.

[Timsmyname]

But what if she's like 25 years old ?

[blondie]

But what if she's like 25 years old ?

Yeah, she’s a grown woman and while it’s understandable to be protective, at some point your fledglings are gonna have adventures outside of the nest.

But Dorothea is a man who likes to feel in control of his domain. Maybe things are happening outside of his control and so he’s trying to control what he can…

[KAYLYN]

Wondering if we may see others try to join on instagram to and follow her lead.

[campbellstruts]

Offering some perspective here because this is similar to a family situation I had a while ago, one family member took to social media and badmouthed certain family members and it became this whole ordeal -

At some point you have to acknowledge that your children are grown adults that make their own decisions. That much is uncontrollable and is left up to them.

HOWEVER, there is a fine line between exercising free agency to open a social media account versus using your free agency to use that social media to damage somebody’s reputation or make up lies and spill filth on family/loved ones.

As far as we can tell, Hesta and assorted members of the redcurves are not under the witness protection program, so putting their face out there doesn’t seem like it’s doing a whole bunch of harm, besides pissing Dorothea off. However, we don’t know their family dynamic quite yet.

[kevin]

In an effort to get Hesta off of Instagram, per Dorothea’s request, I tried a few things.

First, I reached out directly to Hesta on Insta. Here’s our conversation:

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She wasn’t very chatty, but was informative(ish).

Her responses may be up for interpretation though.

I also reached out to opulens to see if he had talked to them. He mentioned that the carnival they attended a few weeks ago wasn’t a normal thing for them.

Based on those two conversations, it really does seem like Hesta is just enjoying the return to civilization and that attending that carnival may have showed her what was possible in the wider world. Now that she’s free to explore and learn about what’s out there, she’s taking full advantage.

Also, like, even though Dorothea may not like it, Hesta is doing them a solid by being active on social media and doing the influencer thing for Exiled. She can lure people in with her sweetness and cotton candy, and then everyone else can do their thing. Just because Dorothea doesn’t like social media doesn’t mean it’s not a useful tool.

[kevin]

Kept chatting with Hesta:

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I asked her which of three Taylor Swift songs she would prefer to see if she would discuss her intentions: Dorothea, Florida!!!, and Welcome to New York

Did she want to stay close to her dad, or head for a fun new place? She put a heart on Dorothea, and ignored the other two. Then she followed up with lyrics from the song Dorothea, “It’s never too late to come back to my side,” and a black heart.

It really does seem like she’s got her dad in mind but wants to have fun for a little while.