Run while you talk to me. // Phone call to Campbell part 2

[campbellstruts]

No caller ID. I pick up.

It’s Dymuntz, she asks if I’ve started my run.

I say that I’ve just ended it and I quite literally had just stepped off the treadmill to take her phone call so I wasn’t lying.

She says to keep running. And I was like “….okay?”

She says I want you to talk to me while you’re on the treadmill.

Kinda nervous laughter on my end, but I agreed and said okay. I put my phone up to the treadmill so she could hear the beeping noise that it makes when it starts and I got it up to speed, and she could hear my weird breathing lol.

She asked me what my fears were.

I told her that the first one I told them when I first started the experience was probably losing a loved one, but the most recent one I had right now was gaining weight.

I think she asked me why, to which I responded that I’ve been super heavy before and I hated the way I looked. I’ve been super thin, and I loved the way I looked. I told her I just felt more insecure and unattractive when I weighed more versus less.

She asked me why I felt that way and I told her I looked better lighter weights, and I thought I just looked more attractive and that people would like me more in general.

She asked what I think besides losing weight would fix that.

I said being kinder to myself, focusing on speaking nicer to and loving myself.

She said that she felt that that was a true answer.

Then I said I hope so, meaning that I hope If I actually did it that it would hopefully work.

And then she said you can stop now and hung up .

[KAYLYN]

Girl I thought you meant for a run outside lol you are safe. I was working out and had the school call me and I couldn't catch my breath, not sure why I answered knowing I was struggle to survive. Feeling stupid I felt like I needed to explain myself