SPOILERS - 10/26 - Isaiah's Experience and the Meditations on Power

[Sgt. Polaris]

I arrived at Exiled on Saturday, October 26th, as a rebook with Campbell. This was to be my third visit to the woods, and my second at the Opulence level. It'd been several weeks since my last visit, and many of the changes surprised me. But that's not particularly relevant, and I'll try to skip over the fluff.

As we were all returning visitors, and we all were connected through the forum and discord, Campbell, Kevin, Blondie, Matt, and I were kept together as a group as we were sent directly into the trail, bypassing the sensory overload chambers. Walking the trail is always fun, and being part of a group made for a very different experience to my initial solo forays. But the most important part was at the end when we reached the altar of the wood witch. Slowly, individually, everyone was brought up to speak with the witch one on one. She asked what secrets or regrets I wanted to speak of at her altar, I said I regretted not being able to attend more frequently. She asked if it was my first time and I said it was my third. She asked what I kept returning for and I said understanding. She then warned me, much like Campbell, about being careful who I trusted at the carnival, and she told me that there were many paths that led only to dead ends. I mentioned that I believed I had found some of those already. She then gave me a token for the fortune teller to get some more answers, and while I did talk to her, it was the very end of the night and nothing much came from it. We then continued onwards.

I'll briefly mention here that I did get to speak with Morgan at one point. He seems incredibly exhausted. I don't think this has much bearing on the story and the game, but I wanted to call it out so as to say that I hope when this is all over he can get some good rest.

After exploring the carnival some more, it was time to prepare for the Opulence Tent. Stephanie asked me to confirm that I had been here before and asked if I wanted to go back into the tent. I said yes. I did not realize this at the time, but this is when I became an Elite, along with Campbell, Kevin, and Matt. Stephanie had us participate fully as Elites, treating the other participants as though we had always been among the rest of the tent-dwellers. As previously mentioned by Campbell, Dorothea and Buck came to collect Kevin and Matt, and when Kevin stayed, Lily came back to ask how dare he insult her father like this, and so on. Stephanie also gave me the chance to go with them if I wanted, but I decided not to. The night continued, and I participated in the rituals of the Elites. Stephanie had me and Campbell pick objects to go on the pillar of an elite, and I chose a piece of my original offering as it was one of the few objects at the table that I actually fully understood the vibes of. It was a cloth embroidered with the words 'sail on, exile', which to me was always a symbol of continuing the journey, finding belonging in unlikely places, that in the end you would arrive exactly where you needed to be. It felt appropriate for Lazarus in a way I don't know how to explain, and so I put it on the pedestal I believe is his.

A short while after this, Stephanie comes to collect me again and take me out of the tent. At this point, I'm worried. I'm flashing back to my first night when an elite took me out of the tent to give me instructions regarding dancing and then we stood in relative silence for a long time. I'm also worried that I wasn't supposed to move my own offering and I'd done something wrong. But then she takes me to Darren and Morgan, and Darren starts to tell me things. I'll get to that in a bit, cause what happened there was huge.

After this conversation, I'm sent back into the tent, where I continue being an Elite. Eventually the tent experience ended without too many major discoveries, though I did get to see Campbell meeting Dymuntz. At the end, Stephanie gave us the choice to go to the blood ritual, or the carnival, and Campbell and I both chose the carnival. I've seen the ritual, but there's always so much more to explore around the carnival than I have the time to. So we wandered around and talked to people, I met some of my fellow participants, and I interacted more with Damien and, honestly I was mostly just present as Campbell and Dymuntz had a brief conversation, Dymuntz didn't even give me the time of day. But she did say that she was part of "the LA branch" of the Elites, which made me wonder how many there actually were, if they have different branches. In the end I did go speak to the fortune teller, but there wasn't time to reveal much before the show was wrapping up. The very last thing I did was get my face bloodied by Cletums, participating in a ritual at the family altar, and then it was time to leave.


But that conversation with Darren, right? That conversation changes a great deal, at least for me, and is why I included "Meditations on Power" in my title here. He begins by commenting on the fact that I've been here a few times now, and asked what I expected to be different. I honestly say that I didn't know what to expect to have changed, and that's part of why I had to come back. He tells me to look around and tell him what I see. I said the carnival. I can tell in his face my answer is too basic, and my mind is fully spinning at this point. There are correct answers and incorrect answers and I have not studied in the slightest for this test. He's looking for something in me or from me and I desperately do not want to disappoint him. So then he asks me what this all is, and I stop and think. I respond that 'the first answer I can think of is an experience.' He tells me outright that I'm thinking too simply and I'm better than this, and then he tells me to walk with him. He takes me over to where two participants are kneeling with one of the Handlers, possibly Maddy? I was too distracted with determining what Darren wanted of me to positively ID her. He asks me to tell him what they're doing. I say that it looks like a ritual but at this point my mind sparks. I remember conversations, information that I had been so generously given, and I think I've figured out what I need to give here. Darren then procedes to prove me right. He calls over the handler, gives her instructions, and she goes and gets a bag of popcorn, walks over to a different group of people and makes one eat a single piece of the popcorn. Darren says the guest needs to eat more, so she took another piece. Pause. Then a third. Then Darren says that's enough and he asks me again what this is, and I finally confidently respond. "Power."

Darren is finally pleased with my answer, and begins to tell me that that's what this whole thing is about. The Redcurves and the Elites have power over the participants and we do what they say, and he has power over everyone and we *all* do what he says. When he tells someone to kneel, they kneel, when he tells someone to eat popcorn, they eat popcorn, it doesn't matter how stupid it is, they do it. And that's power. And the more I think about everything that's happened, even still, the more true it feels. In an early interview given before I even knew about this event, Darren mentioned that the experience reacts to everything you do, even simple stuff like buying a hot dog vs a turkey leg. So my first night? I didn't eat in advance, and I bought a turkey leg. The second night I did the same and bought a hot dog, just to see what that would change. Power.

Back to Saturday, he makes an example out of me. Has me pick someone, so I choose the closest guest who happens to be an older woman. Darren goes and gets her and asks me what I want her to do. First thought in my head is to say kneel so I do. He tells her that 'his friend' wants her to kneel but she doesn't have to. She doesn't. Darren expects more from me, I can tell, so I say that I think she should do it. She still doesn't. At this point Darren lets her leave, which I am happy about, cause this only proves something I already knew, and when he asks me to say why she didn't do as I asked I clearly said "because I don't have power". He confirms this. He continues talking and then asks if I want power. Here I'm uncertain. I've never expected to be in a situation where I could have power, I'm Gen Z, it's never felt in the cards for me.

After consideration, I hedge my bets but respond positively. I don't want to lose this opportunity, because I doubt Darren is gonna pay me any attention ever again if I do. Why would he? He has power and I don't, I'm just a 24yo nobody. He asks what I would do if I had power. I pause to think again, but I do know a tiny bit about the sort of life I want to live, so I say I would want to make people's lives better. He asks me how I would do that. I think. But I don't know. I don't know how you make people be better to each other, I just know that a big goal in my life is to improve the lives of my friends and family, to take care of those closest to me and make their lives better in any way I can. He tells me something along the lines of saying that the first thing you need to have power is to know what to do with it. I can't remember the exact words which I feel bad about, but that's the main thing. That is I have power, I need to know what to do with it. What I want, and how to do it. Something like that. He explains more, talks more about how this whole thing comes back to power, like he's been doing, and then he asks me again as we head back towards the tent, do I want power? I don't know. I'm not a confident person. I'm full of anxiety and worry and I care too much about what others think. But I don't want to lose this opportunity. I want to see where this goes. And maybe, just maybe, a little power, a little control would help me fight back against the darkness that my mind creates. And maybe even improve things. So I say yes. He seems happy, underneath all the intensity that defines him at Exiled. Even before I realized who he was, his intensity stood out and gave him power. I'd've done what he told me to, not just because he's Darren, but because you can feel his power.

Just before he sent me back into the tent and told me we'd finish this conversation later, he told me something plainly that changes everything. I can't remember the exact quote but... This isn't just an immersive experience. Don't ever forget that. This is an experiment, and everyone here (implying participants and characters, this is echoing other things he said earlier) is a thread. If you have power and you pull on the threads right, you can create change.

I don't know what it all means. I don't know why he chose me to bear this knowledge. I wasn't even originally supposed to be there, I was a rebook, but he wasn't wrong when he said that I have paid for the opulence experience and done pretty much whatever they told me to do, just like everyone what who goes through this. It seems to directly contradict things other people have said about Darren not being in control and being in danger, but I never felt that from him during this. It didn't feel like he was a puppet. It felt like he was the director. And I hope that when I go back for the final shows, we can indeed finish that conversation.

[campbellstruts]

The Darren part has me thinking. When he gave me the opportunity to come behind the curtain and spoke to me about power, it was essentially the same message he was communicating to you. And then he told you about the “experiment” part, which he did not tell me.

There’s a nagging part of my brain that wants to revisit the brainwashing/smoke and mirrors/everything is fake theory.

Even after I betrayed the elites, Darren still called me and explained what Meta means and expressed to me how I was in danger, Morgan was in danger, he was in danger, etc. And told me he didn’t have much time to talk to me.

So that begs my other question, why would a man, who helped create all of this, and supposedly has all of this power, tell me that HE was in danger too? It lends me to think that either:

A. He’s not really in danger and this whole thing is just an experiment to see what they can make us do and say and how we react in certain situations.

B. He has some power, but he quickly got himself wrapped up in something beyond his control and now is in danger and has been in danger for a while.

C. none of the above and it might be something else.

Especially considering all that we have learned about the witch and how we can’t trust anyone in the carnival and we need to take off our masks and the masks of others, it has just become one big question, at least for me, of “is this even real?”

Lily’s ritual, the Redcurve rituals, the rituals that the elites perform in the opulence tent: do they even believe what they’re doing to be true or is it going through the motions to get us to act or think a certain way?

There’s a feeling inside me that is telling me, yes these people might genuinely believe that their rituals they are doing are real and hold weight, but that they’ve been made to believe it for a reason unbeknownst to us.

[kevin]

Especially considering all that we have learned about the witch and how we can’t trust anyone in the carnival and we need to take off our masks and the masks of others, it has just become one big question, at least for me, of “is this even real?”

Lily’s ritual, the Redcurve rituals, the rituals that the elites perform in the opulence tent: do they even believe what they’re doing to be true or is it going through the motions to get us to act or think a certain way?

This question is a common one in this space.

The response I've found most helpful, and it is not meant as derisive or dismissive, is: "Does it matter?"

Even if this is all artifice, does that take away from the emotions you felt? The actions you took? The decisions you made or didn't make? The reasoning behind why you made that choice?

If this is all an experiment, maybe that's what it's in service of. To show people what they're capable of and who they might be when faced with these choices.

[campbellstruts]

Truthfully it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things because you are right, it doesn’t change the fact that the emotions I felt were real at times and it still fueled my decision making. I guess the desire to figure it out stems from my desire to understand the WHY and the overarching storyline - which it’s impossible to get everything, but worth a shot at digging up as much as you can.

I’m reminded of something Evan told me that Stevie said about me: “when you dig as much as cammie has, they take your shovel.”

Right now I feel like I’m clawing at the dirt with my bare hands. Lol.

[Sgt. Polaris]

The Darren part has me thinking. When he gave me the opportunity to come behind the curtain and spoke to me about power, it was essentially the same message he was communicating to you. And then he told you about the “experiment” part, which he did not tell me.

There’s a nagging part of my brain that wants to revisit the brainwashing/smoke and mirrors/everything is fake theory.

Even after I betrayed the elites, Darren still called me and explained what Meta means and expressed to me how I was in danger, Morgan was in danger, he was in danger, etc. And told me he didn’t have much time to talk to me.

So that begs my other question, why would a man, who helped create all of this, and supposedly has all of this power, tell me that HE was in danger too? It lends me to think that either:

A. He’s not really in danger and this whole thing is just an experiment to see what they can make us do and say and how we react in certain situations.

B. He has some power, but he quickly got himself wrapped up in something beyond his control and now is in danger and has been in danger for a while.

C. none of the above and it might be something else.

This is one of the big questions. He definitely has made it sound to you like he's not in total control. But he's never seemed to be anything else while I've seen him. He might be putting on this act for me but not for you? Or maybe he was putting on an act for you because of how much more aggressively you were digging.

Especially considering all that we have learned about the witch and how we can’t trust anyone in the carnival and we need to take off our masks and the masks of others, it has just become one big question, at least for me, of “is this even real?”

Lily’s ritual, the Redcurve rituals, the rituals that the elites perform in the opulence tent: do they even believe what they’re doing to be true or is it going through the motions to get us to act or think a certain way?

There’s a feeling inside me that is telling me, yes these people might genuinely believe that their rituals they are doing are real and hold weight, but that they’ve been made to believe it for a reason unbeknownst to us.

He talked at one point about how the opulence tent experience was very much a demonstration of power, implying that this is why the rituals they do are so grounded in embarrassment. But it's true that the Elites themselves take it all very, very seriously. So I like your theory that it's been made real to them... For some reason.

This question is a common one in this space.

The response I've found most helpful, and it is not meant as derisive or dismissive, is: "Does it matter?"

Even if this is all artifice, does that take away from the emotions you felt? The actions you took? The decisions you made or didn't make? The reasoning behind why you made that choice?

If this is all an experiment, maybe that's what it's in service of. To show people what they're capable of and who they might be when faced with these choices.

I think it does matter. It doesn't change or take away from all that we've done if it is all artifice, but it is... Well, it recontectualizes things. I personally put a lot of stock in knowing the reasons behind things, and if I feel I've let someone down because I've failed to meet their expectations, or if I feel that way because they want me to feel that way, it personally changes how I understand my situation.

As to your final part, I think that's a great idea. That might well be the point, to show people themselves. However... I can't explain why, I literally don't have the words, but I feel like there's something more. The way Darren talked about change, it just makes me feel there's some grander purpose behind all this.

[Larry Meyers]

The response I've found most helpful, and it is not meant as derisive or dismissive, is: "Does it matter?"

Even if this is all artifice, does that take away from the emotions you felt? The actions you took? The decisions you made or didn't make? The reasoning behind why you made that choice?

If this is all an experiment, maybe that's what it's in service of. To show people what they're capable of and who they might be when faced with these choices.

Indeed -- all the people, the choices, the emotions, objective vs subjective vs meta reality -- in the end there is only one question that matters:


"What did it all mean to you?"

[campbellstruts]

Meaning wise, I think anyone can tell that I, as well as everyone that has had a hand in participating or designing this experience, understand that this journey means a TON to all of us. Like it is so beautiful and so interesting to see the way this has impacted myself and others.

Maybe, in the words of haley, this truly is the friendship experience?

[UnseenPresence]

Indeed -- all the people, the choices, the emotions, objective vs subjective vs meta reality -- in the end there is only one question that matters:


"What did it all mean to you?"

I both completely agree with you and Kevin AND completely disagree with you both at the same time.

All of this (and by this I mean existence itself) matters in how to means TO YOU. This experience is the same. Whether the Elites believe it because it's true, believe it because they're brainwashed or are only acting for your benefit -- the emotions and your response to them are what matters.


And yet, the actual answer ALSO matters. If there is an objective factual abswer to be found, that is worth finding (and do not, Larry, tell me there is no such thing as actual truthful facts.)

There are facts and then there is how you RESPOND to those facts. Knowing them has value--or at least potential value--in creating a response.

But then again, I understand that for some people, that answer doesn't matter. Not wanting the facts is also an option. I think I land in wanting them, almost always.

[Larry Meyers]

(and do not, Larry, tell me there is no such thing as actual truthful facts.)

There are always actual, objective, truthful facts.

The challenge is in discerning them.

[UnseenPresence]

There are always actual, objective, truthful facts.

The challenge is in discerning them.

I'm putting this on a poster.

With a cat that might also just be a shadow.

And sending it to you.